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THE SKIN I'M IN...


NYC-Embracing & Letting Go of This Skin 
I've been desperately holding on to old shedding skins.  Skin that has puckered and worn out.  Skin that is snug in all the wrong places and increasingly more and more uncomfortable.  Skin that no longer serves me and is completely unrecognizable.  Skin that I've been terrified to let go of and allow to decompose because the new just felt/feels terrifying.  The new feels/felt so different.  I'm not even sure how to wear it or even approach this skin.  What part of me do I dress/address first...Do I start with putting it on from my head or my feet?  Or do I put it on like a front button down dress with at least 100 buttons that need attention?  I'm not sure how to wear this new skin.  I'm not sure how to approach this new skin, 

so I've isolated myself more 
than ever.  I've hid myself away but I find myself seeking to connect and be held; be in spaces with more than just me & this ill-fitting version of myself.  This incredibly stifled scared version of me. 

I'm ready to see myself in more spaces where more eyes are staring back at me.  More heartfelt interactions.  More full-on sharing, collaborating and partnering in multiple aspects of my being; of my existence.  I GET to be out in the world in this body. This body that has loved me and held me and made sure I survived my moments of Big & sometimes questionable/dangerous Indulgences.  It has saved me from my internal harm that I subconsciously caused myself.  Through all of it, this body has still employed all it's senses and faculties.  I am grateful for this body for its patience as I work to shed my old self and the many fits and starts of dawning this new iteration of my whole and highest self.  

 EMBRACE IT IDA! This is just an iteration of you.  Embrace your AWESOMENESS!  No need to sabotage your relationships with yourself and your community.  People want to stay in communion with ALL of who you are.  Gold & Godly & Grand is who you are; So lean in...I mean DIVE into ALLADAT! 




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