Skip to main content

Friends & Other Revelations...

How to approach an old friendship with new eyes and heart has been a continuous challenge. This year has been particularly challenging. I have had multiple friendships change in dynamic. The change has not been negative as much as it has been painfully difficult.

So your question to me might be, why have some of your friendship's dynamics changed so much? I guess because I have changed. How I view myself is not the same and in-turn my role has been changed in those relationships, actually it has been turned on it's head. So now my very first sentence, I pose as a question. How do I approach my old friendships with new eyes and heart? This entry really doesn't have a problem/solution happening, but I guess I am hoping for support in hopes that I am doing the right thing.

I've heard that the road to self is a lonely one and boy have I had some lonely days, but I guess you can't move forward while looking backward, otherwise expect to trip and/or fall on your face, which, by the way, I have many scars and bruises on my face. Change is not easy. It's comfortable knowing what role you play in people's lives and visa versa, so when you decide to show up with changes to the script or actually decide to scrap the whole script it tends to cause a bit of trauma.

I don't want to loose friends, be traumatized or lonely, I just want to understand myself better. I want to love myself more. Why can't I just have my self love and success without having my world around me change? I guess that is part of building self - shaking up what I thought was solid foundation only to find out the material I have been using is not strong enough and/or I just might have needed another layer or two.

Nourish Nurture Sustain and Build ~ Mother's Milk

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

THE SKIN I'M IN...

NYC-Embracing & Letting Go of This Skin  I 've  been desperately holding on to old shedding skins.  Skin that has puckered and worn out.  Skin that is snug in all the wrong places and increasingly more and more uncomfortable.  Skin that no longer serves me and is completely unrecognizable.  Skin that I've been terrified to let go of and allow to decompose because the new just felt/feels terrifying.  The new feels/felt so different.  I'm not even sure how to wear it or even approach this skin.  What part of me do I dress/address first...Do I start with putting it on from my head or my feet?  Or do I put it on like a front button down dress with at least 100 buttons that need attention?  I'm not sure how to wear this new skin.  I'm not sure how to approach this new skin,  so I've isolated myself more  than ever.  I've hid myself away but I find myself seeking to connect and be held; be in spaces with more than just me & this ill-fitting version of myse
1 comment
Read more

Dear Single Mama!

The Early Years of Figuring It Out! You got this!   Yes, YOU GOT THIS!   I know you’re wrapping presents solo.   I know you might be feeling guilt because you couldn’t afford all the spoils for your babe(s).   I know you’re possibly pushing through some unhealed traumas, negative balances, uncertainty, exhaustion & being the safe space AKA emotional punching bag for said babes…whom you are also wracking your brain trying to figure out how to give them the world & keep them shielded from the perils of that same world including your ish…What am I saying?   You’re keeping your spinning plates going!   You’ve come so far!   Remember when you didn’t have right in this moment (job, an apartment, safety, a couple of extra dollars, food, new furniture, new friends, new love, school, accomplishments…) YOU have come so far!   YOU have done your very best to keep the fruit of your womb safe & supported.   So take a moment to honor yourself as you figure out how to make duct tape look
Post a Comment
Read more

Failure is Not Final

Such a simple statement, yet so profound, life changing even. A simple statement a co worker of mine made while sharing a story about his son who, by the way was telling his dad how that simple statement he made to him years prior was what seemed to always bring him back to his center. Failure is not final...So I get up everyday and do what I am supposed to do - wake up, shower, dress, make sure my kid is showered, dressed, fed and prepared for the day ahead, while I do the same for work. That is what i'm supposed to do. Yup, a run-on sentence that defines my day to day life of what is supposed to be. It's easy to do this daily dance because I am supposed to; the world expects it, so it is easy to fulfill. Failure is not really an option - I'm expected to work and be a mother. It's the responsible thing to do. So let's discuss what I yearn to do, my personal expectations and make that simple statement...failure is not final...Why has getting to that finish li
6 comments
Read more