Skip to main content

Coma Terms

What a year 2015 was!
FREEDOM was my New Years resolution.  I wasn't sure what that was supposed to be or how it would manifest, but it was what I wanted and needed to happen for me evolve.  I had no idea what I was in for.  I didn't realize my prayers and meditation would take me down this incredibly emotional road to freedom.

A friend of mine described how she had been feeling for the last few months...like she was in a coma...man did that resonate with me!  I experienced extreme highs by celebrating my son's successes and a few of mine, but instead of me using my challenges (I don't want to call them failures or losses) as a catalyst, they became a warm weighted blanket in the heat of summer.  

I had been laid off from my job and all though I knew that I had asked for this...not loosing my job, but the freedom from having a regular 9-5...I finally get to call my own shots...but how scary.  I have been working for someone since I was 15.  It was a shock to the system to say the least...but I asked for it.  Freedom to do me on my own terms.  What were those terms??  Truth be told, the thought of my own terms was what definitely shut me down.  That was the added weight that felt way to much to even consider moving.

Thank God for great friends who had been down this road before.  Constant reassurance that this comatose feeling that i'd been having was very normal.  Going from being an employee to being self starting.

It's 2016 and i've woken up from my coma.  I'm ready to take on this freedom and see it through to it fullest potential.  I realize that showing up for my life unapologetically and honoring the universes gifts, I can and will be able to live have my best year yet!

Lets do this!


Comments

  1. Congratulations, Ida! We are on the road to ourselves. Thank you for your words... You are an inspiration! ❤️

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

THE SKIN I'M IN...

NYC-Embracing & Letting Go of This Skin  I 've  been desperately holding on to old shedding skins.  Skin that has puckered and worn out.  Skin that is snug in all the wrong places and increasingly more and more uncomfortable.  Skin that no longer serves me and is completely unrecognizable.  Skin that I've been terrified to let go of and allow to decompose because the new just felt/feels terrifying.  The new feels/felt so different.  I'm not even sure how to wear it or even approach this skin.  What part of me do I dress/address first...Do I start with putting it on from my head or my feet?  Or do I put it on like a front button down dress with at least 100 buttons that need attention?  I'm not sure how to wear this new skin.  I'm not sure how to approach this new skin,  so I've isolated myself more  than ever.  I've hid myself away but I find myself seeking to connect and be held; be in spaces with more than just me & this ill-fitting version of myse

Dear Single Mama!

The Early Years of Figuring It Out! You got this!   Yes, YOU GOT THIS!   I know you’re wrapping presents solo.   I know you might be feeling guilt because you couldn’t afford all the spoils for your babe(s).   I know you’re possibly pushing through some unhealed traumas, negative balances, uncertainty, exhaustion & being the safe space AKA emotional punching bag for said babes…whom you are also wracking your brain trying to figure out how to give them the world & keep them shielded from the perils of that same world including your ish…What am I saying?   You’re keeping your spinning plates going!   You’ve come so far!   Remember when you didn’t have right in this moment (job, an apartment, safety, a couple of extra dollars, food, new furniture, new friends, new love, school, accomplishments…) YOU have come so far!   YOU have done your very best to keep the fruit of your womb safe & supported.   So take a moment to honor yourself as you figure out how to make duct tape look

BIG UPS TO THE KID & HIS OG (aka his Mama)

Move Out Day! "To love means to embrace & at the same time to withstand many many endings, and many many beginnings- all in the same relationship"   Clarissa Pinkola Estés (Women Who Run With The Wolves) I was recently speaking with a friend of mine about raising our sons.  Our boys are on the precipice of crossing over into young adulthood.  Roaming the world with less of a tether...making their own decisions... Somedays I wish I could somehow put my son back in my belly.  Somedays more than others, I wish for this extreme unrealistic regression because at least when he was in my belly; he was tucked in that protective pouch filled with fluid to pad him from any jarring experiences.  I wish I could protect him from EVERY bump, ditch, divet, tsunami, tidal wave, earthquake type of trauma...but I can't and those times where all I can do is be a place for him to lay his burden down and soak up is pain filled tears...I squeeze him with all might in hopes that my arms and