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July 27th 1942 - July 7th 2016
My mother really didn’t want any fuss “when the time
came”. I believe part of it was
her not wanting to inconvenience anyone and the other part was her not
realizing what a brilliant woman she was.
From as far back as I can remember, my mother worked so
incredibly hard at every task she put her mind to. She would not stop until something was done just right…She
was just under five feet tall, but you would never know that from way she
boldly lived her life. She was in
a country far from all of her family except for her child. What makes her even more amazing was
that for all of my life, my mother battled with mental illness. We all struggle with our negative
self-talk or “demons”, but a quick talking to with friends, family therapist
and a prayer usually did the trick.
Her demons felt very real to her and were very loud. My mother was diagnosed
with Schizophrenia. I went back
and forth about weather I should even talk about this, but I realized how
important it was to talk about the miracle her life was despite this horrible disease.
So when I say my mother raised me for most of my life
as a single mother; she went to
school to further her education; she landed her dream job, she made sure I was
fed, loved as best she could, safe and looked after. She kept her disease at bay in front of the outside world
for many years. The hospital she
worked at had no clue, because she was meticulous about her work and usually
worked nights where her interactions with coworkers although sincere, was very
routine and practiced. She wanted
to care for people and make sure they kept their dignity intact.
At home we definitely had our challenging times, but
whatever demon she was battling still didn’t stop her from making me clean my
room nor did it stop her from throwing me birthday parties or making sure all
my needs were met. I wanted for
nothing.
My mother was kind.
Up until the day she passed, people always were drawn in by her kindness
and loving heart. She would give
of her time neighbors who needed help to coworkers or church friends just
needed prayer. She was the one to
make it happen.
My mother was completely head over heels in love with her
grandson. She would give her last
breath if it meant he would okay or better or fed. The moment he showed up in the world, her life was
full. At times I felt like I was a
surrogate. They have so much love
for each other…they made each other better in so many ways.
My mother was my friend. The latter part of her life was so HARD! Age made it harder to keep her disease
in check. Her final few years were
at a nursing home. It was the
first time she was able to be regulated with medication and started coming to
terms with this disease. I’m so
glad she was able to not recall much of what her life was off of her
medication, so instead we would just talk about everything. These were the years I finally
convinced her to get her first manicure and eyebrows done and King Spa. She loved them all. I felt like we got to bond over our
woman-ness together. I felt like
she shared her vulnerable underbelly with me like she would a girlfriend. I cherish those moments.
My mother is both my son’s & my angel. She has left this physical space and
transitioned into her heavenly form.
She is free of physical and mental pain. She is our watcher our guide and our protector in death as
she was in life.
She was an amazing woman who in spite of meeting challenges that would break anyone else, worked hard to ensure your safety and joy. What an amazing sister she gave me, your graciousness and strength are a true testament to her goodness.
ReplyDeleteSo lovely, Ida. Thanks for sharing. Blessings to you and Victor. So glad I was fortunate enough to have met your mom in this life!
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