MOTHER'S MILK WORLD

My father passed on November 11.   God that was an awful day.  Hearing/reading the words that my father was dead.  I was driving to work when I heard the news.  I thought I could go on with my scheduled day without issue.  I guess that was the part of me that wasn't really willing to process it.  Just go to work and check in later in the day with the family to make sure everyone is okay.  I really wanted and needed my mom at that moment, so I called her to let her know.  I didn't expect her to breakdown as much as she did.  I expected her sweetness and love and compassion, but not her heartache.  I believe that was the point I talked to each of my siblings.  Each of them feeling the weight of the very sudden absence of our dad. I spent the next week receiving love and condolences and flowers and more love and a multitude of stories about who my father was to people.  How he affected their lives, how he helped shape who th...

I started this blog entry a good four or so months ago.  I got as far as the title of this blog entry and the words below in red.  I sat for a few hours just stuck and not able to move past the word like.  How ironic, I finally publish a book, but I had writers block and couldn't write about it. I woke up with this indescribable feeling in the pit of my belly.   It wasn't illness or pain or even butterflies...And not the anxious excited butterflies, more like Today is a new day.  Today I can share a little more about my book.  About my project, that took me an extremely long time to complete, BUT I FINALLY FINALLY DID IT! This was a passion project that wouldn't leave me alone.   So why this project?  I am a mother who realized I felt like my own story as a mother was not relevant. Having conversations with other mothers made me realize I wasn't alone in my feelings.  Eight years, multiple revisions, ridiculous amounts of fear,...

One day at a time is how life should be taken.  One moment at a time is actually what gets me through. Today was another day into the new year.  Sometimes the ending/beginning of a year can feel like a ton of pressure.  You either have to get that last bit of paperwork done before the 31st, finally complete your list of goals, get your new year goal list done, start your goals/resolutions/live up to expectations that you've set for yourself in your mind because you think that is what you are supposed to do and on and on and on and on and on....PRESSURE! One moment helps me not feel so much of that pressure.  That pressure is what is causing me to feel the way I feel right now...weighted down and foggy.  Seeing glimmers of light on occasion and having moments that feel like i'm floating on a cloud...but then my reality sets in and I fall through the cloud and land on what feels like a field of light bulbs.  One moment at a time.  That's what's working...

Hi everyone! It's been forever, I know.  Extreme writers block and maybe life lobbing a whole lotta lemons my way. So here I am icing my bruises from those lemons.  Here's the thing, 2013 has brought a ton a beautiful/powerful "OMG" moments that have helped me realize some of my own strengths and potential.  It's just that sometimes its REALLY hard to celebrate life when someone you love is struggling through it.  It's hard to enjoy my life when someone I love has passed away.  The one who struggling is my mother and the one who has passed on is my father.  The people who are responsible for my existence.  My heart is struggling to feel really good and whole again. I am grateful for my son, because he gives me the motivation I need to get up and function through these challenging times.  I am blessed to have family and friends because this road would be even more intense.  I will breathe through it all and reflect on the great moments. T...