MOTHER'S MILK WORLD

It's been to long since i've written last, trust me I know. I'm sorry about that. Really sorry to myself for giving in again to my handy dandy self-sabotage machine. I call it handy because it is always ready and available to take me down. It starts with this back and forth conversation with myself which, lucky me, is replayed over and over again in my head. "You've been here before and it is way to hard for you to get past this part, you can't do this." I wish that I was making that up, but that is a real sentence; a real feeling; a real mental recording that has lodged itself in my memory bank causing a complete and utter battleground in my head! I've prayed, meditated, gone to therapy about this amazing ability of mine to sabotage myself right when I am about to make an astounding breakthrough. I look at it, smile and then do my best to pour salt over it all. I come so close. So close the universe starts giving me motivating nuggets, like p

These last few days, I've been as mesmerized and moved as Oprah has appeared to be, during the beautifully thought out presentation of the effects of the last 25 years of her life. Being praised and applauded over and over again simply because she answered her call to destiny. She stood speechless and humbled. Living her purpose had caused an indomitable ripple affect, a tidal wave of sorts, only incomprehensibly more massive. On several occasions, she clutched her heart acknowledging that overwhelming emotion welling up inside her. Personally, I think it was God wrapping his arms around her and whispering "this was my vision for you. This is who I always knew you to be." Powerful! All this got me thinking about my own purpose, power and legacy. No, my stage is no where near the size of Oprah's, but then once upon a time, Oprah's own stage paled in comparison to her stage now. The thing is, I was so moved by her ripple affect that it prompted me to want to c

Ugh..not the best way to start a post, but that is how i'm feeling. The issue is that I tied one on this past weekend and i'm still feeling the residual effects of the alcohol eating away at my liver. Yes, I am way over twenty dumb thing and I should know better than to make such a rookie mistake of not eating well before indulging, but I got caught up in the moment. I got caught up in the uninhibited, let my hair down, feeling free because nobody was watching except for those folks whose hair I might be tripped on. I simply got caught up. So why my ugh? I guess because I feel like I wasted a day trying to recover from my rookie mistake am feeling like this journey I am on had a bit of a set back this weekend. I am human and although I might have been over-served, I was obviously in desperate need of a break a serious mental break and I took one, but at what cost? I think that is why I am stuck at UGH because I wasted a day trying to recover verses actually resting and

Such a simple statement, yet so profound, life changing even. A simple statement a co worker of mine made while sharing a story about his son who, by the way was telling his dad how that simple statement he made to him years prior was what seemed to always bring him back to his center. Failure is not final...So I get up everyday and do what I am supposed to do - wake up, shower, dress, make sure my kid is showered, dressed, fed and prepared for the day ahead, while I do the same for work. That is what i'm supposed to do. Yup, a run-on sentence that defines my day to day life of what is supposed to be. It's easy to do this daily dance because I am supposed to; the world expects it, so it is easy to fulfill. Failure is not really an option - I'm expected to work and be a mother. It's the responsible thing to do. So let's discuss what I yearn to do, my personal expectations and make that simple statement...failure is not final...Why has getting to that finish li

How to approach an old friendship with new eyes and heart has been a continuous challenge. This year has been particularly challenging. I have had multiple friendships change in dynamic. The change has not been negative as much as it has been painfully difficult. So your question to me might be, why have some of your friendship's dynamics changed so much? I guess because I have changed. How I view myself is not the same and in-turn my role has been changed in those relationships, actually it has been turned on it's head. So now my very first sentence, I pose as a question. How do I approach my old friendships with new eyes and heart? This entry really doesn't have a problem/solution happening, but I guess I am hoping for support in hopes that I am doing the right thing. I've heard that the road to self is a lonely one and boy have I had some lonely days, but I guess you can't move forward while looking backward, otherwise expect to trip and/or fall on your

G ood morning moms and friends, Here I am a few days later stumbling through the process of learning to love myself… Yup, I’m challenged, but pushing forward because I can’t look back, I don’t want to look back. This my friends, is to important. This is my chance to finally get to the other side of this fear and finally tear through the ribbon at the finish line, only to train for yet another journey, but I digress. It ain’t over till it’s over! So let me tell you about my last couple of days of loving myself. I started Monday morning spending time with my snooze button. My tired body was in a tumultuous battle with my hungry spirit and sadly, the body won. Yes, that disappointment that just laid itself on your heart stayed present with me even after a very long and thorough shower. I lotioned myself and put on the intimates and then stopped...I thought back to the day before and the promise to love myself blindly, unconditionally and on

Dear moms, I have just had a lovely Mother's Day. My son lovingly woke me up this morning with this single rose, bear and card. He followed that up with the deepest hug and a slew of "why I am so lucky to have you as my mom" sweet nothings. I was done. My heart was bursting. He even blogged about it...Seriously He loves me unconditionally, wow! He loves me with every part of who he is and it is so beautiful and real. So why am I going on and on about this uninhibited show of affection from my child? I guess because I don't have this kind of love for myself. Yes, over the years, I've learned to "love me," but am still working on being in love with me. Loving me with zero inhibitions, blindly and completely unconditional. The big blessing of this day is that I am one of the lucky ones. Besides the obvious roof over my head, food in my belly, employment, internet, free will etc..., I get to be told everyday that I am loved. I get to look into my

Nourish, Nurture, Sustain, Build...Mother's Milk.. It has come to my attention that more often than not, women, mothers in particular have no idea the power they wield. We have no idea how our internal voice sounds. I realize that I am one of those women who has for so long disregarded my own power and strength and has lived in deafening silence for way to long. This month, I am on a journey to really connect with my inner strength and find my voice. About 6 years ago, I came up with Mother's Milk after my son questioned who I was outside of being his mother. I was taken aback by his question because I could not answer it. That hurt me more than I could imagine. I lost myself on my journey and didn't realize it until my son unwittingly pointed it out to me. I asked other mothers the same question and was met with the same stunned silence that I had expressed to my son. I asked a variety of mothers to write their mother stories. Why? Besides not knowing who they