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Friends & Other Revelations...

How to approach an old friendship with new eyes and heart has been a continuous challenge. This year has been particularly challenging. I have had multiple friendships change in dynamic. The change has not been negative as much as it has been painfully difficult.

So your question to me might be, why have some of your friendship's dynamics changed so much? I guess because I have changed. How I view myself is not the same and in-turn my role has been changed in those relationships, actually it has been turned on it's head. So now my very first sentence, I pose as a question. How do I approach my old friendships with new eyes and heart? This entry really doesn't have a problem/solution happening, but I guess I am hoping for support in hopes that I am doing the right thing.

I've heard that the road to self is a lonely one and boy have I had some lonely days, but I guess you can't move forward while looking backward, otherwise expect to trip and/or fall on your face, which, by the way, I have many scars and bruises on my face. Change is not easy. It's comfortable knowing what role you play in people's lives and visa versa, so when you decide to show up with changes to the script or actually decide to scrap the whole script it tends to cause a bit of trauma.

I don't want to loose friends, be traumatized or lonely, I just want to understand myself better. I want to love myself more. Why can't I just have my self love and success without having my world around me change? I guess that is part of building self - shaking up what I thought was solid foundation only to find out the material I have been using is not strong enough and/or I just might have needed another layer or two.

Nourish Nurture Sustain and Build ~ Mother's Milk

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