Tuesday, August 21, 2012

What is Your Addiction?




Do you have any addictions?  What are they?   Food, drugs, people, TV, work, attention, a person, cigarettes, exercise, sex...this list could go on and on...What is/was that trigger in your life that flipped that switch on for this addiction?  Have/has your addiction(s) played a role throughout your life or have/has it just showed made a dramatic entrance into your life?

I believe that addictions are cravings that have gone completely HAYWIRE!   One day you have an innocent craving for some savory/sweet something and the next thing you know, you are going out of your way to sacrifice life and limb to satiate the insatiable.

Then when your craving has "mutated" into a full blown addiction you start to loose your spirital voice...so this now "mutated"addiction has now become a toxic aura that acts as a thick veil isolating you from the rest of the world.  How and why did you get here?

Triggers...Somthing that occurs and in a moments time causes you to flashback to a time in your life that was horribly painful.  An incredibly vulnerable time in your life that caused you to feel powerless, useless, unloved and not worth "it", whatever that "it" may have been.  You've managed for so long to keep those feelings at bay...Of course this pain coincidentally showed up when you were having one of those innocent cravings.  You mix your drink, call that stranger for a little romp in the hay, order that food,  pop that pill, deprive yourself of the meal...Anything that can anaesthetize the overwhelming feeling of pain that just showed up.

We are given a couple of options when it comes to pain...deal with it or not.

When we don't deal, we feed our cravings because they temporarily help us feel better, but the key word here is temporarily.  Feed your craving-feel better for a spell and repeat - feed your craving - feel better for a spell and repeat-feed your craving -feel better for a spell and repeat - feed your addiction - feel unsatiated and repeat - feed your addiction - feel unsatiated and repeat.

Dealing with the pain hurts and we want to avoid it, but we don't realize that not dealing with it perpetuates it.  Not dealing with pain forces us to avoid self.  The thought of having to remove the pain mask and be faced with yourself is terrifying.  So for me dealing with my pain and facing myself meant/means being connected with my spirit.  Being prayerful, being present and honest with myself.

Turning to God/Universe/Spirit has over the years has given me the power to detach from my pain and release it. A pattern or way that I was living needed to change and get out of the way so that my dharma could present itself to the world.