MOTHER'S MILK WORLD

Hello April!  It's hard to believe you have already arrived.  You being here requires me to do a quick check in with my 2016 plan of attack.  Am I on a good path?  Have I been diligent and disciplined with my plans?  Have I changed my mind about how I feel about any accomplishments?  Did I surprise myself in anyway?  Am I feeling disappointed or proud of myself?  So many questions you bring to me April!   So 2016 was/is supposed to be the year I push myself outside of my comfort zone.  Do things that make you uncomfortable because the further out they are the more you find yourself stretching and growing in unexpected ways.  How has it been thus far?   Quick self assessment, like most folks, I started out incredibly strong.  I knocked out a few things on my list...Travel to LA for the first time...go on a dates(yipes!)...Okay, you get the idea, i've done some ish already and that feels pretty good!   Let'...

There are very few movies I walk away from feeling proud, moved & inspired...Creed I felt like a proud mom knowing that this beautiful movie was directed by a young driven brother whose honored his father who passed away by directing this gem of a movie.  Both my son and I spent the rest of our night obsessing over the soundtrack quoting the movie. One of the quotes that stuck with me.  That resonated deeply because it felt so relevant at this moment in my life was... "You see this guy here? That's the toughest opponent you're ever going to have to face. I believe that's true in the ring, and I think that's true in life. Now show me something!"  God this has been my lifelong battle.  I have effectively talked myself out of so many opportunities that the universe set up for my good.  I've taken a thousand momentous forward moving steps only to suddenly stop & dig my heels into a bed of quicksand layered with fear. Why?  Because it felt like ...

What a year 2015 was! FREEDOM was my New Years resolution.  I wasn't sure what that was supposed to be or how it would manifest, but it was what I wanted and needed to happen for me evolve.  I had no idea what I was in for.  I didn't realize my prayers and meditation would take me down this incredibly emotional road to freedom. A friend of mine described how she had been feeling for the last few months...like she was in a coma...man did that resonate with me!  I experienced extreme highs by celebrating my son's successes and a few of mine, but instead of me using my challenges (I don't want to call them failures or losses) as a catalyst, they became a warm weighted blanket in the heat of summer.   I had been laid off from my job and all though I knew that I had asked for this...not loosing my job, but the freedom from having a regular 9-5...I finally get to call my own shots...but how scary.  I have been working for someone since I was 15.  It was...

I feel like i've been on a really long writing hiatus...well because I guess I have.  If I could only string together every single word, sentence and single paragraph that I started & stopped over the past several months/year...Strung together to make some compelling, inspired thought. That last paragraph has been as far as I've been able to get for months...So this is me pushing myself past paragraph one.  Here goes. Persist - I've spent much of my adult life battling myself.  Against the doubt, the self sabotage when I got to close to FINALLY getting what I wanted, the fear of not being the right person to fulfill my "grandiose" dream.  I've battled year after, month, after day, after minute after second.  I battle(d).  As my thoughts linger on the time lost, at least that was part of the narrative that left/leaves the deepest wound...How could you waste so much time in a battle you created & fueled for the slow destruction of self when yo...

My heart is breaking much like so many other people in the wake of the horrible tragedy in Charlston.  Nine people died in the midst of prayer & reflection.  Died opening their hearts and doors to a very lost soul... To The MEN  who were the leaders and examples of excellence, The Honorable Rev. Clementa Pinckney (41) ...Ashe Rev. Daniel Simmons Sr.(76) ...Ashe - Tywanza Sanders (26) ...Ashe.   Thank you for showing us what it looks like to live an impeccable life.  Thank you for being the pride of the community.                                   To The WOMEN The beautiful mama souls that were violently taken from us. Taking in the pictures, stories and words that loved ones have been sharing shows how these blessed women were the hugs, the love, the words of encouragement, the prayers, the glue, the sunday dinners, the only one who understood, the one who fo...

I hope you all have had a wonderful Mother's Day! I just wanted to share a podcast that I had done with my son.  Please let me know your thoughts and I hope it inspires you to allow your child to interview you. have a great Mother's Day! http://www.buzzsprout.com/admin/episodes/271333-a-conversation-with-my-boy-m4a

Damn the teenage years are hard!  First let me start by saying I have a pretty amazing kid.  He is funny, sweet, handsome, thoughtful, talented, loving, cool and so forth and so on...He's awesome! But, back to my original thought, raising a teenager is so hard.  It's hard for me because i'm continually grappling with the good cop, bad cop.  Struggling because I've been  putting my foot down about so many things i'm finding that the soles of my feet are ache from the pressure.  Man I miss the toddler years when his wants, needs & discipline were simple and usually one dimensional. I hate to use my single momma card, but i'm using it!  I am the total provider.  I am the one that makes things happen.  I am the one that has to make all the decisions from what's for breakfast to what high school to what the consequences should be when he steps way out of line, to figuring out what if a home remedy makes more sense than a doctor to where ...